Tuesday, July 18, 2006

Sharing Nugget #4

#4: Positivity breeds positivity. And vice versa.

A while ago, a friend told me that he likes me alot (in a buddy way of course). I asked him why? What did I do? He told me that its because I am always very positive about everything.

I gave this conversation a long thought that night. Then I realised the beauty that lies in my friend's feedback:

People likes to be around happy and positive people. Not those who forever whine and complain or take things for granted.

I remember when I was in OCS, going through a hell phase where I struggled. I turned very negative. I complained and whined, pick on small things, said sarcastic remarks about people, and gossip etc. My coursemates grew sick of me. It took a true friend then to wake me up from my slumber to realise that there is a better way to cope with difficulty.

Now, as a senior facilitator (SF), there is a great temptation to just write off people, or dismiss their actions as signs of their weaknesses during the training workshops. Initially, I was harsh (read: negative) to those who did not buy into the program (read: attitude problem).

The turning point came during one of the sessions where the SFs had to discuss which faci cannot make the cut, I was lobbying for a certain guy to be cut. I even mentioned "over my dead body". Then came a debate where a SF (who attended a course with the accused) defended the guy and ask to give him a chance. It made me feel so bad. I felt like a bad guy... Fortunately, later, the SF and I talked about how bad we both felt because of this conflict, and he was understanding towards me.

That day turned my outlook. I remember our trainer, Stephen, told us about the merits of asking "wat can we do to save this?" as opposed to "this cannot work."

From then on, I made an effort to be positive, never to condemn, criticise or complain (thou i do gossip or bitch with my close friends about some stuffs). I started to be able to give people more benefit of the doubt, and was able to inject more humor into my work. Slowly, I was able to balance between task and relationship (where there is a notion that as a SF, our influence may drop if we are not detached enough) as I felt that people are getting more comfortable around me. The merits of being positive peaked during the mock camp where my "buddy" and I took a group. The atmosphere was so relaxed and positive, it was one of the best groups most of us have experienced. It was that night during the mock camp where I heard the feedback.

I thanked that friend for being so honest and generous with his appreciation. It cemented my resolve to stay positive. Friends, do knock my head if ever you catch me being negative. Because positivity breeds positivity. And vice versa.


Post a Comment

<< Home